Learning To Heal

I was set on a path to healing
by a licensed stranger.

Analyzing bits and pieces
of myself
While peeling apart the layers of terror
and naming
each finger of Fear.

He listened intently
to my rambling thoughts,
pausing occasionally
to offer tissues
and soft words of encouragement.

I trembled
with the desire
to be understood
and repaired.

My words falling
from quivering lips...
absorbed into the space between us,
his chair and my couch.

I was given assignments
to help find the pieces
of myself
scattered so randomly
by the hurricane winds
of Fear.

I searched frantically
for the parts of me
I once knew
and thought would always be.

In the long, still nights
I armored myself
with the words of David
and promises from God.
I rebuked the Fear outloud
and called her by name.

We danced a new waltz
and sometimes I led...
and sometimes Fear led me.
... But not as often.

I learned to breathe
and sort the rocking chaos
of my mind.

On shaking legs
I walked into bustling stores
and crowded malls.

I sat alone
in empty silence
and learned to be content.

I placed myself
in rooms full of people,
memorizing exits and doorways
... and quick escapes.

Often Fear soared
to a fevered pitch
but I swallowed her down
and buried her
deep behind my desire to heal.

I endured whenever I could
and claimed each victory
over Fear...
no matter how small.

Often I walked blindly,
my hands and arms outstretched before me
grasping for Hope.

I gathered the remainder
of my broken pieces
and like a child
re-assembled the puzzle
from memory...
of what I use to be.

Bonded into a new pattern,
made to fit again...
I am held together
by Hope Eternal.